Saturday, September 03, 2005

Blogger's block

Wow...things seemed to be going pretty well for the first little while. Then SIGGRAPH happened, I came home, and...... plunk. (For the uninitiated, that's the sound of a an idea or concept colliding with some type of wall.)

The core problem lately seems to be a difficulty in accomplishing two little tiny things...
  1. deciding what exactly to write here
  2. finding the time to write once a decision has been made

I got all excited about rolling along with Illustration Friday and Photo Friday on a regular basis, but the fire didn't catch nearly as strongly as I thought it did at first glance. I thought of writing something regarding the passing of Joe Ranft, but came up with several excuses not to. I've got a big long piece I've shared with some folks in person that I wanted to share here with the wider community, but because of its very "big long piece" nature, it's not coming together too terribly quickly...

...and suddenly I think I know what's going on.

When I first started this blog, I said that I was going to try to avoid doing stuff here just because everyone else was doing it. And what do I go and get myself into not two weeks later? Illustration Friday. Why did I get into it? It wasn't because I found the IF site and felt a burning desire to draw stuff on a weekly basis. When I look back on it, I think it was largely because I saw Ward Jenkins' entries each week. Because Ward was doing it, and I wanted to do it, too. That doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing to do -- heck, it's drawing, which I could definitely use a lot of practice in -- but without my own passion and drive for the idea, it was bound to fail. It kinda looks like it's failing magnificently at the moment.

The same goes for Photo Friday. I forget the exact place I ran across it, but I have a strong hunch that my reason for "joining the fun" was because I saw someone else doing it, and felt that it would be cool to have that little tidbit on my site. The initial desire didn't come from an internal spark. It was another "they're doing it, so I'll do it too" move. And sure enough....plunk.

So what about Joe Ranft? Why didn't I say anything regarding his passing? Frankly, I just didn't have a burning desire to write anything. Sure, I was sad...very sad. It was just not the type of sadness that moved me to put my thoughts down here. What was moving me was the feeling that because so many other animators were writing about him, I should write something, too...and I'm so glad that I didn't give in to that impulse. If I had written anyway, it probably would have come across as cheap and trite because I would have been simply following the crowd, rather than expressing true feelings from within. I respect and commend those who shared their thoughts and condolences in their blogs. They did so because they were moved to speak. I didn't feel moved in that same way, so I didn't write, and I sincerely hope that my silence wasn't seen as disrespect.

That leads up to the "big long piece," which is the easiest to explain: I definitely have a burning desire to share it, but it's just been hard to find the time.

So now we come back to the two little tiny things that have been so hard to do lately...

  1. decide what exactly to write here
  2. find the time to write once a decision has been made

Now that I realize what I was doing with some of these ideas/subjects, I'll be that much more careful about item 1. If you see it here, you'll know that it's something I really feel needs to be shared. If you see something elsewhere and don't see it here, it doesn't mean I don't have an opinion on the subject. It's just that my feelings didn't move me to type an entry. Nothing more, nothing less.

Okay, enough proofreading, Justin. Go to bed. There will be plenty of time tomorrow to write the other entries...

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